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A night to remember.
Sunday, September 1, 2013 / 9/01/2013 11:36:00 PM | 0
You know those dates where your make up never feels perfect, your hair is not good enough, your over dressing only feels too casual, you put five layers of lipstick and it still doesn't seem red and you put a little more perfume than usual before you leave, yeah, I just went on one of those. It's crazy, he asked me out today, and what's crazier was that I ditched my homework and agreed to go. What was going through my mind that moment? yeah i wonder the same thing. & so I took an hour to dress up, left home feeling like everyone's beautiful today, smiled (or maybe even laughed) to myself (or to my phone, to make it sound less retarded) countless times, and bam, there was me saying 'hello' to him. I dont think I should go into details bout the date, but it was great, really. He's great, gentleman enough and, he cracks me up. It was either lame jokes or really funny experiences he had. I dont know if he was really that funny, or it was just me, because I believe that is what happens when you're talking to your crush. You'll probably laugh at anything or everything he says. Like, "heyy whatcha wanna eat?" me - "hahahahahhaha" I dont know. This feeling I cant quite explain, maybe not just yet. But one thing I know for sure is that it's really time to move on. It's time I stop wondering what's waiting ahead and whether its going to be better or not, or if i'll miss what I had. I guess I just really have to let go of somethings that I'll never get back and just be brave, pull myself together again and keep moving forward. Time to accept what I've been running and hiding from for far too long. Maybe I was happy, was, and that now I have to go, pack these happy memories in a box and put them aside, stop wasting my time wishing I could relive them, but be prepared for what I might want to relive in the future. There's so much thoughts and so much more I wish to share but times up. Time to come back to reality. I didn't get enough of him though, there's this something about him that's so intriguing. Maybe the less you get the more you crave for it. Cant wait... "I dont know if my heart is there yet... but I know for sure that, it's on it's way." Caught between loving you and moving on.
Saturday, August 31, 2013 / 8/31/2013 11:53:00 PM | 0
Now playing // & crying.Who are you? You're looking like a stranger You were once my love and my savior Now I'm left with nothing but your make up on my pillow I can't sleep The pills they never help Try counting sheep still hurts like hell I can't believe this rose has lost it's red and it's petals Who put that rock in your chest won't you tell me? If I said I wished you the best I was lying Wakin' up just brings me down down Cause every morning you are nowhere to be found nowhere to be found And my bed is half empty not half full I'd rather live with broken bones Than lay here all on my own like a lovesick fool Like a lovesick fool Like a lovesick fool Like a lovesick fool Where'd you go You said you'd never leave me All alone my heart is barely beating Like a ghost you haunt me everyday that you're gone I'm not the same now something went missing At best a cage it feels like a prison Here I said until you come back home home Who put that rock in your chest won't you tell me? If I said I wished you the best I was lying Wakin' up just brings me down down Cause every morning you are nowhere to be found nowhere to be found And my bed is half empty not half full I'd rather live with broken bones Than lay here all on my own like a lovesick fool Am I a lovesick fool Or am I hearing no? Am I a lovesick fool Wakin' up just brings me down down Cause every morning you are nowhere to be found nowhere to be found Wakin' up just breaks me down down Cause every morning you are nowhere to be found nowhere to be found And my bed is half empty not half full I'd rather live with broken bones Than lay here all on my own like a lovesick fool Like a lovesick fool Like a lovesick fool Like a lovesick fool Release the doves.
/ 8/31/2013 05:00:00 PM | 0
"I'd send you to see him."
"You sure?"
"If that makes you happy, yes."
If love is what you need, a soldier I will be
Friday, August 30, 2013 / 8/30/2013 11:48:00 PM | 0
Two posts in a day? Pretty amazing. Its a night where feelings just keep spilling everywhere and I dont know how to pick myself up. I spent a day updating my creative process journal ( school work ) and only manage to complete one chapter out of what, 7? Really nicole, is this your productivity level? I have two more days to complete the remaining 6 chapters, finish my history research, and make a trip to orchard or something for photography work. Now tell me, how am I gonna find time for all these.Such a quiet night it seems. It's a friday night, rejected an invitation to shisha @ arab st as well as zouk. Can you tell how bad my mood is? Actually its not that bad, it's not really bout the mood, more of my soul feeling so empty I just wanna be home and alone. Honestly, im coping so much better this time. It's as if I've became stronger, not sure. Or maybe I care less now, a part of me gave up, and wanted to move on anyway. Or maybe it's, (him). Weekly mask on and a cup of realllly hot green tea to end my friday night. Hopefully I'd be more productive tomorrow and successfully turn down any invitations to go out again, or else my works gonna pile up sky high. Its a weekend I have to sacrifice, for my bestie will be visiting next week, and ofcourse, my time will all be given to her. Praying for a better, brighter day tomorrow. No more sadness no more sorrow. Only happiness awaits. wishing everyone a good friday night. |
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